Top 4 Dead Football Formations That Need To Be Resurrected
*All rise for the honorable Mr. Football Guy.*
The game of football is constantly changing and coaches are always looking for a way to get an edge on their opponent. In today's game, it seems like it's all about spreading the ball and throwing the ball 50 times per game. Little do most people know, there is a young up-and-coming football guy out there who just found some dusty films from like, 1960 that his dad (an old school football guy) has in his basement that they're cleaning out because he is 82 years old and is downsizing in preparation to move into a nice quiet retirement community somewhere in south Florida. This young football guy is going to find himself watching dusty films and sneezing in his dad's basement because of his allergies for hours and will shock the world by bringing back the fun offenses...the offenses where the guys got in three-point stances and just beat the living crap out of each other for 60 minutes with the occasional big play. Alright, enough water cooler talk - let's get to work.
1. The Power I Formation
LET'S GO!! This was an easy one. The good ole Power I. Just like dad used to preach about. Where do I even start? How about the fact that there are two fullbacks on the field? Those two lousy corners are basically obsolete because if it's a toss play, they'll get their skull cracked. My sneaky favorite part of this is the two tight ends. Those boys are basically more athletic versions of tackles. Why do I say that? Because after we run the ball 500 times in a row up the middle, that will be just enough to call for a play action tight end release. Love this damn formation. Just dig your hand into the ground and go full steam ahead on the snap every damn play.
Favorite Play: Nothing fancy here, just the bread and butter. I Right, 26 Dive, I Right, 26 Dive. On one, on one. Ready, BREAK!
2. The T-Formation
We’ll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T Formation! What do you run if a team has two good halfbacks and only one good fullback? Boom. The T Formation. We still get to keep our beloved fullback on the field while at the same time having two explosive halfbacks. Ideally, you’ll want these half backs to be good blockers as well, but since we're bringing back these old fun offenses, we need to build our halfbacks for them. Only one was to do that: bench presses and squats for days. Bottom line - the key here is balance. The two halfbacks need to be bruisers (guys who can run the ball tough, but also throw big blocks). Otherwise, you'll run into a lot of missed blocking assignment issues.
Favorite Play: T Formation, 28 Toss, T Formation, 28 Toss. On one, on one. Ready, SCORE!
Halftime
"Man, this is fun man" - Jon Gruden probably reading this. I feel like I'm really starting to get moving here. Can you imagine what the coaches meeting was like when someone suggested a spread formation? "Hey listen, we are going to run this formation in shotgun with five wide receivers" - Head Coach "WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE WIDE RECEIVERS?! WHO'S GOING TO PLAY FULLBACK?! IF THERE IS NO FULLBACK, THEN WHO WILL BE BLOCKING FOR THE RUNNING BA.... WAIT, THERES NO FUCKING RUNNING BACK EITHER?!" - Assistant Coach. I hope that the next two formations are as great. It's not easy choosing from all these great formations as one would think, but I think I can do it. WE JUST GOTTA KEEP OUR COMPOSURE! WE CAN'T HAVE ANYONE FREAK OUT THERE! WE JUST GOTTA KEEP OUR COMPOSURE! **slams chair against locker**
3. Maryland Power I Formation
"Hey Mr. Football Guy, isn’t this basically the Power I Formation?" EHHHHH WRONG **Wheel of Fortune song**. As previously noted, the Power I has two fullbacks. This Formation, much like the T Formation, has two halfbacks AND they are lined up in a perfectly straight I, not staggered like the Power I. Big big difference. Remember when I mentioned balance of the halfbacks when talking about the T Formation? This is a little different. You run this formation when you have two half backs with two different styles. Let's go down the line. First, you have your fullback, who is literally built to crack skulls and get you one yard on the goal line or on fourth and one. Right behind him, you have your bruiser halfback who excels at blocking on top of running. Then at the very end of the I, you have your shifty back. This guy is a ball runner. That’s why he is at the back of the line. No expectations of blocking and he will likely be getting a bulk of the carries in a variety of ways (literally just receiving a handoff or a toss in a designated hole). He still needs to be tough enough to run between the tackles or else our only threat up the middle is the second halfback with one lead blocker. I like to think of this as “The Fancy Power I“ more than the Maryland Power I because of the soft, shifty running back at the end.
Favorite Play: I Right, 42 Dive, I Right, 42 Dive. On one, on one. Ready, KILL!
4. The Wishbone Formation
"Coach, I know we have a pretty good system here, but we have two really talented receivers, two really talented running backs and quite frankly, our tight ends look like Tarzan, but play like Jane. What if we split those two receivers out out instead of going with the two tight ends?" - Assistant Coach "I don't like it......... **takes swig of black coffee**...I god damn love it." - Head Coach. That was how the wishbone was formed in a nutshell. I'm not going to cite my sources, I just know. Trust me. That little tale I just told you basically explained the entire objective here. You have great running backs, but you want to be able to use those receivers every now and then. Listen, we don't gotta run the ball 400 times per year. Maybe we can run it 380 and throw the defense off a bit. We'll light up the scoreboard! This formation is basically indefensible. You can play smash mouth football all day and spread them out when after you’ve battered them into the ground the previous 15 plays, which basically makes it, for lack of a better term, the spread offense of power football. This is a classic formation that can cause you to get lost for hours watching highlight clips on YouTube. I'm speaking from experience. You can even run the option out of this formation. Speaking of the option...
Favorite Play: Wishbone, Option Right, Wishbone, Option Right. On TWO, On Two, Nobody fucking jump. Ready, SCORE!
There you have it - four of arguably the best football formations that ever existed that need to be resurrected. No wonder the NFL is struggling with ratings and no one can beat Alabama (except UCF). They keep using all these boring ass formations. I don't know how you fix it. Maybe Goodell and the NCAA should make it mandatory for teams to carry three fullbacks. That way teams will be forced to play real football! Problem solved.
P.S. As I was writing this, all I could think about was making up new formations that don't exist. We will save that for another blog. I'll probably be breaking some rules as I go, but who cares.
- Mr. Football Guy
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